


Eos' Horniest Home Video

by dudewheresmytea



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack, Facials, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn Video, Shenanigans, Silly, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 17:45:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15006068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dudewheresmytea/pseuds/dudewheresmytea
Summary: Nyx, Gladio, and Ignis set out to make a porno tape. Shenanigans ensue. CRACKFIC. Ignis is purposely OOC. This is meant to be ridiculous :P





	Eos' Horniest Home Video

“Hey! Hey! Be careful of the lights. These things cost me a few hundred gil to rent…and I wouldn’t wanna find out how much they’ll charge if I bring em back busted.” Gladio re-stationed the wobbling studio light after Nyx had accidently bumped it with his rear end as he was testing the mattress.

“Oh, sorry. Maybe you should move them back a little bit? I need room to …. _fuck_ , yanno?”

Gladio chuckled. “Yeah, yeah. Okay.” He picked up the light and moved it back a couple of feet. “This might improve the softness of the illumination, anyway.”

“Are you sure you’ve filmed a porno before, man?”

“Yeah! I mean.. I’ve done some amateur jobs with a couple of my past partners… I’m not a pro or anything. And this is the first time I have gotten real lights….”

Nyx shook his head and pointed. “And that camera, where did you get that? Looks like a blast from the past, dude!”

Gladio looked down at the bulky VHS camcorder he held in one hand. “It was my dad’s. Gotta save money, man. I’ve already spent enough on this venture. Don’t wanna squander any more..”

“Four-hundred gils is _squandering_? Geez. Alright, whatever. Where’s Iggy? I wanna do a test run.”

At the sound of his name, Ignis looked over from where he was standing. He was donning a long fluffy robe in a light blue color with a screen-print of the ebony coffee logo on the back. He brought a can of ebony demurely to his lips. “Yes, dears? Am I needed already?”

Gladio gestured with this thumb. “Nyx wants to do a mattress test, c’mon.”

“So pushy!” Ignis teased as he sauntered over. He stopped in front of Gladio and gave him a soft shove. “Pushy.” He pushed aside a lapel of his jacket and gave his exposed nipple a pinch. “I push back, love.” Gladio gasped and grabbed Ignis by his robe and pulled him in for a dramatic kiss.

Nyx looked over and rolled his eyes. “C’mon guys, there will be plenty of that later! Let’s get to work. I wanna eat soon.”

Gladio broke the kiss and grabbed his crotch. “Eat this, Dicks Ulric!”

Ignis laughed. “Nyx eats dicks for breakfast, lunch, _and_ dinner!”

Nyx scowled but then laughed, eyes twinkling. “I would gladly take a lunch break right here, right now, Amicitia, but it’s a shame you’re not starring in this film. I am. And Iggy here. So, too bad!”

Ignis turned to him. “Maybe if you’re good, we’ll let you have our sloppy seconds.” He tittered as he joined Nyx on the mattress.

Gladio grumbled something indiscernible as he turned back to the filming equipment. He popped a tape into video camera with an audible plastic ker-chunk as Nyx and Ignis could be seen a short distance away positioning themselves upon the mattress, trying to find the right fit. Ignis jutted his rear out dramatically, taunting Nyx to mount. Nyx grabbed him by the hips and gave him a few fake thrusts. He looked back at Gladio, who was still fumbling with the camera.

“How’s this position, Mr. Sexy Camera Man?”

Gladio looked over at them and chuckled at how silly they looked. “You fuckin’ butt pirates. Hold on, I’m still getting this thing set up.” He attached the camera to the tripod and looked through the viewfinder. “Okay, Nyx, move your ass a bit to the right, I want the audience to get a good view of your cock. Yeah. Alright. That angle should work great.”

Nyx jumped off the mattress and stretched. “Awesome! I’m fuckin’ ready if you guys are ready. You ready, Iggy?”

Ignis looked back at him and smiled. “Did that motherfuckin’ quick brown fox jump over the lazy dog or what?”

Gladio guffawed. “Haa- what? You weirdo.” He cracked open a beer. “Okay, let’s do this shit.”

“Does that dinosaur camera of yours even work?” Ignis asked with a huff.

“Yeah, yeah, it fuckin’ works. I tested it out earlier.”

“What did you film, your dick?”

“As a matter of fact…”

“C’mon guys, let’s get this show on the road!”

“Astrals, Nyx, you are so friggin impatient,” Gladio retorted as he took a swig of his beer and gestured with his hand. “Well, I’m just waiting for you guys to stop fucking around and get going.”

“Very well. Ohh, Nyyyyx? Come here, darling.” Ignis beckoned with a curl of his finger and a beguiling smile.

Nyx looked away from Gladio and toward Ignis. He blew him a kiss. “I’m comin’, baby, I’m comin’.”

Ignis mock pouted. “Don’t cum too fast, hun, don’t forget about me over here… _all lonely_.” His eyes fluttered.

Gladio got behind the camera and pressed record. He did a reel rolling motion with his hand. Nyx took the cue and sauntered over to Ignis, taking him in hand. They danced idly in front of the mattress, Ignis’ robe swirling around. Nyx soon led Ignis into a dramatic dip, locking his lips with his.

Gladio took another swig of his beer. “Awww, look at the love birds!” Nyx and Ignis both gave him a displeased look, and he went back to attending the camera without further comment. Looking into the viewfinder, he zoomed in.

Nyx slowly trailed his fingers down the sides of Ignis’ neck, over his collarbone, and down to the cleavage of his chest. Fingers pressed to each side of the robe, he unhurriedly parted it and exposed Ignis’ upper torso. Gladio comically zoomed in on a nipple while taking another swig of his beer. He licked his lips in anticipation. The camera shook a little.

As if reading Gladio’s mind, Nyx brought his lips to one of Ignis’ nipples and lightly kissed it. A moment later he was licking around and over it, caressingly. His index finger and thumb lightly pinched the other nipple. Ignis shut his eyes and sighed blissfully, reaching out to rub his lover’s cock and balls over his clothing. Nyx breathily moaned around Ignis’ nipple and pinched the other one harder as his passion grew. Ignis gasped and moved back to seat himself upon the mattress.

Following him, Nyx dived into the warm and inviting crook of Ignis’ neck, giving it a little bite. Ignis’ hands roamed all over Nyx’s back and ass. Stopping at his belt, he quickly unbuckled it and unbuttoned his pants. “Mmm, _someone’s_ eager to get at my junk…,” Nyx purred into his ear with a smug smile.

“I’m always hungry for that beef stick, darling. You know that. Get it out for me.”

Nyx did as he was told, pulling down his pants and underwear. His penis flopped out and swayed in the air. Both Ignis and Gladio stared at its magnificence. The camera shook again as Gladio took another swig of his beer and tried not to drool on himself. He zoomed in as Nyx looked over and winked at him. Gladio felt his own cock rising to attention. Soon enough it was pressing uncomfortably and urgently against the constraints of his pants. He continued to stare at Nyx’s cock, imagining it in his mouth. A small hum escaped his lips.

Nyx took himself in hand for a few moments, hamming it up for the camera (and his eager spectator). He stroked himself idly, groaning a bit when his fist slowly careened over his glans. Gladio felt himself twitch.

Ignis’ robe had magically disappeared. He stood there with nothing on but neon pink hot pants, his bulge noticeably straining against the front of them. Gladio chortled. “You look like you’re smuggling a veiny-ass kielbasa in those things, Iggy!”

Nyx’s laugh was cut short when Ignis bent down, slapped his hand away, and suddenly took him into his mouth. “Ohh, damn..” His head bent back in pleasure as he felt Ignis’ tongue darting over the sensitive spot right beneath the front of his glans.

Gladio continued to film the scene, his own arousal becoming apparent. He impatiently palmed the front of his pants as his breathing quickened. He wished it were his cock in that perfect mouth. He also wondered where Ignis’ robe went. It was literally gone. He imagined it already washed, dried, and sitting in Ignis’ drawer, expertly folded. Iggy was magical like that. He was truly a fucking gift. He opened another beer and chugged it down.

Soft moans meandered throughout the room as Ignis relentlessly worked his magic. His own erection continued to strain against his bright shorts. A small precum stain dotted the front of them. Nyx was close to orgasm when he suddenly retracted, pulling out Nyx’s penis with an audible wet pop. Nyx groaned in frustration. Ignis grinned up at him. “Now, now, Nyxy boy…. you know you need to save yourself for later. Now it’s my turn!” He sat with is legs spread out, jutting his crotch up into the air. “You know what to do. Don’t let me down.” He tittered. Nyx looked exasperated but did as he was told, pushing Ignis onto the bed and pulling his underwear down and off. He tossed the pink shorts behind him without looking. They landed on Gladio’s head. The camera shook.

Ignis’ cock matched his body type: long and lean. Nyx always loved going down on him because his jaw didn’t lock up and become strained like it did when he was tasked with sucking off Gladio for any extended length of time. Not that he didn’t enjoy servicing Gladio, doing so could just become uncomfortable at times, especially when Gladio was topping and ordering him to service both him and Ignis simultaneously, alternating between their cocks. They once even tried a variation of this game in which Gladio ordered Nyx to take both of their cocks instantaneously, but it didn’t work. Gladio was just too damned girthy. Even two of Ignis’ cocks would’ve been a stretch.

Gladio didn’t care anymore. He was buzzed and horny. Unzipping his pants, he yanked his dick free from its cage and began to stroke himself as he watched the scene in front of him. His breathing was ragged and uneven. He zoomed in on Nyx’s tongue as it glided skillfully around Ignis’ head before swallowing his shaft in one go. Ignis moaned throatily and grasped Nyx’s hair tightly, tugging on it. “Yeah, baby. Suck that cock. Suck it like it’s the last cock you’ll ever see! Ahh…” They both heard Gladio go: “hey, wait!” in a despondent tone and chuckled.

Nyx went back to what he was doing: licking and sucking and grabbing and tugging Ignis’ balls. Ignis moaned and groaned and having rapidly reached his limit, blew his load all over Nyx’s face. Nyx recoiled slightly but took it.

“Gimme a warning next time…” he muttered under his breath.

“Neverrrr….,” Ignis replied demurely with a self-satisfied grin.

Nyx looked over at Gladio, who still had the pink shorts upon his head. “Hey, toss me those, will ya?” He caught them easily and wiped Ignis’ ejaculate off of his face. Ignis made a face at him but didn’t complain.

Nyx turned back to Ignis. “Okay, wise guy, turn over. I’m gonna fuck that ass so hard you won’t be able to walk straight for a week!” His cock bobbed up and down in affirmation. Gladio grunted. The camera wobbled.

Ignis grinned salaciously. “Oh, so tough. Look at the tough fellow here. Everyone, look out- we have an overly masculine male on the premises.”

Gladio snorted and opened another beer. Nyx huffed and grabbed Ignis by his shoulders and heaved him onto his side and then heaved him again onto his hands and knees. Ignis tittered in defiance the whole time but didn’t resist. Nyx shot a glance at Gladio, his eyes set with determination. “Get me the lube.”

“Oh, uh.. yeah.” Gladio ran off, his exposed penis swinging madly to and fro.

“Gods dammit, dude.. I thought you had it ready.” Nyx yelled after him. He gave Ignis’ upturned ass a smack out of frustration. Ignis cooed at him and waggled his hips, taunting him to do it again. He was about to when Gladio came busting back into the room.

“Hey, whattaya guys doin, some hanky panky spanky shit?” He laughed as he set down the bottle of lube with a loud thud. Ignis and Nyx looked over at it in unison. It was the size of a gallon of milk, and was already half gone.

“What the..? Did you use all that??” Nyx asked with a look of surprise upon his face.

“Yep.” Gladio said, unfazed. He looked over at them after there was no reply. “What? I like to masturbate, okay? I have to get the big bottle. I’ve only had this one for about … three weeks.”

“Oh my Gods, man!” Ignis exclaimed. “You beast!”

“I’m surprised you even _have_ a dick left after all that rubbing,” Nyx added.

Gladio smirked as he made his way back over to the camera. “Shit, I forgot to pause it. Oh well.”

Nyx and Ignis groaned slightly but went back to their task. Ignis put his hand out to pump out some of the lube for himself, but Nyx stopped him. “Oh, no you don’t. You’re gonna take what I have to give, and I’m gonna make you suffer through the frustration of not being able to touch yourself!”

Ignis looked back at him with a look of false shock and while not breaking eye contact, reached out again and pumped a liberal amount of the fluid into his hand and rubbed it onto his cock while Nyx looked on in defeat. “Damn you. Fucking power bottoms.”

Gladio and Ignis giggled together as Nyx sighed and pumped some lube into his own hand and spread it on himself and onto Ignis’ anus. Ignis sighed in pleasure as he pumped his hand up and down his shaft. “Mmm, I’m ready for you daddy, bring it!”

Nyx inserted a finger to test his readiness, and lo and behold, Ignis was already magically loose and prepared. “Heh, I guess you weren’t bullshitting me this time…”

“Nyx, just fuck me and shut up.”

A moment later, Nyx was balls deep in Ignis’ ass, thrusting energetically in and out of him. Gladio watched with enthusiasm as he recommenced his stroking. He had a small buzz on, just enough to give him a nice fuzzy feeling and fill him with that familiar sense of uninhibited arousal and drive. Suddenly, he felt gas rising through his larynx and it escaped before he could throttle it. _Buuuuurrrrrrrppppppppp_. It was loud and obnoxious, causing the two lovers to stop what they were doing and look over at him in disbelief.

“Dude, what in the actual fuck?” Nyx asked, trying to suppress his laughter.

Ignis shot him a sardonic smirk. “Yes, Gladio. You are not turning out to be such the professional cameraman, after all. I’m sure all of your sloppy antics have been caught on film. Everyone’s going to throw this tape in the garbage within the first five minutes of watching.”

“I never said I was a professional… it was just a friggin burp, you losers. Get back to your fucking!” He smacked the camera with his hand in annoyance and the shock caused it to topple off of the tripod and land on the floor. The viewfinder auto-focused on Nyx and Ignis’ torsos for a moment before Gladio snatched it from off of the floor and replaced it back onto the tripod.

“Don’t…don’t say a fucking word, you guys. Just don’t. The only thing I want to hear is the sounds of skin slapping together and grunty man moans.” He peered suspiciously at the amused Ignis, who looked as if he were bursting with the need to bust out a snarky comment or two. “…especially not a fucking peep outta _you_ , Iggy. I’ll come over there and shut you up if you do.”

Ignis thought for a moment and decided to be a pain in the ass anyway. “Is that right, oh-big-one? And how would you go about doing that, exactly?”

Gladio shook his head while his lips curled into a mocking grin. “As you always, say, Igs, ‘that’s it!’” He abandoned his camera station, practically propelling himself over to Ignis and grabbing him by the hair, lightly tugging his head upward and staring down at him with hard set amber eyes. “I’ve come up with a new recipe and now it’s _your_ turn to taste test…”

“That’s not even funny- mmmrf“

The remainder of what Ignis was going to say was impeded by the sudden presence of Gladio’s massive cock filling his mouth. Gladio gave Nyx a wink, who shot him back a smug grin in return. “Great idea, Gladio,” he said with a chuckle. “Give him something to do with that damned mouth aside from shit-talking for once.”

Ignis’ countenance held an appalled expression for a moment before settling down into one of sensual serenity. He got down to work, licking all around the substantial glans and down the shaft of Gladio’s imposing penis. Already being in a worked-up state, Gladio responded vociferously, tilting his head back and shutting his eyes as he moaned in pleasure.

“Mmm, fuck yes. Keep going like that, Igs. I’m gonna cum all over that pretty face of yours.”

Nyx grunted as he increased the tempo of his thrusts. Ignis had stopped stroking himself and used his free hand to instead grasp the base of Gladio’s cock and squeezed it as he licked around the head. Gladio’s moans became even more intense.

“Gods, I love how you sound when you’re being pleasured, darling. You’re so fucking loud and wild. I want to make you scream…” Ignis commented as he continued to assault Gladio with tender licks.

Ignis’ words lit a fire in Gladio’s balls and he could no longer hold out. He yelled out like an untamed beast and shot a massive load all over Ignis’ face, surprising everyone with its velocity.

“Geez man. You animal!” Nyx proclaimed after realizing that some of Gladio’s cum had even reached the top of his head.

Ignis took a moment to recover. His face and mouth were so drenched with cum that he couldn’t even open his eyes until he wiped them free with his fingers. “How .. _how_ do you have that much .. FUCKING CUM IN YOUR BALLS, GLADIO??” Ignis yelled drolly at him. “Someone get me a damned napkin. I can’t see straight.”

“You have never seen straight one minute in your life, Iggy.” Gladio retorted with a grin. He stalked off and returned with the pink hot pants and tossed them to Ignis after wiping a few droplets of ejaculate off of himself.

“Oh, I see how it is. My beautiful pink hot pants are now going to be used as a cum rag from now on? _Hmmph_!”

“Gladio, please, put your dick back in his mouth!”

Ignis frowned. “Hey! Or better yet, Gladio, come here so I can put _my_ dick in your ass!”

Gladio leaned a leg on the mattress and looked Ignis in the eye and purred seductively. “Okay, anything to shut you up.” He laughed.

“Shut the hell up and get over here, you sexy lout!” Grabbing him by his belt, Ignis turned him around and fumbled while unfastening his clothing, pulling them down roughly. Gladio grinned as his round ass popped out into view. Nyx’s eyes locked onto it and a carnal grunt escaped his lips as he continued to pump in and out of Ignis.

Ignis sucked in his breath. “Bahamut on a cracker! I’ll never get sick of taking in the sight of this thick and meaty ass,” he remarked as he brought a palm down playfully upon one of the upturned cheeks. Gladio responded with a slight gasp. “Just lovely.” He then pumped some lube onto his fingers and began to prepare Gladio’s anus. “How are you doing over there, Nyxy boy? Your man meat feels so good inside of me I can barely keep it together.”

Nyx snorted at the nickname and slowed his pacing somewhat. “Hurry up and throw it in him; I’m not sure how much longer I can hold out…”

“I’m way ahead of you, darling,” Ignis countered. He was already in the process of guiding himself gently inside of Gladio. Soft grunts and moans could be heard from both parties.

Nyx nearly popped from the sensory input. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath as he stalled for time, slowing his pace nearly to a stop. It wasn’t in the plan to allow Gladio to join and he found it extremely titillating knowing that the three of them were doing this in front of the camera. His reverie was suddenly punctured by Ignis yelling out shrilly.

“Woo-woo! All abooooard! We are going to POUND TOWN, fellas!” Ignis shouted as he pushed himself into Gladio, who moaned loudly. Ignis then started making train noises as he rapidly built up his rhythm and pacing. Gladio’s fervent moans nearly drowned him out.

Nyx almost laughed at the comedy of it all, but the excitement and love that he felt being a part of this “bonding session” was pushing him over the edge. He slammed himself into Ignis’ ass. “Caboose 158 is fully functional, sir! How are you up there, locomotive 591?”

Gladio didn’t skip a beat. “Locomotive 591 is fully functional and ready for departure! Estimated time of arrival is….” He looked at his wrist as if a watch were on it. “…4 minutes and 39 seconds. Are you fully locked in, crewcar 211?”

Ignis snorted. “Yeeessss, Locomotive 591. Locked in and ready to roll!” He punctuated his point with a hard thrust into Gladio’s ass. “Let’s get a move on.”

Gladio pumped some lube into his hand and began to stroke himself to hardness. Ignis and Nyx recommenced their thrusting, and the air was soon filled with vocalizations from all three men. The floor shook from their combined effort, causing the camera to wobble and fall over. The noise startled everyone and they looked over in surprise.

Ignis broke the silence. “Dammit, Gladio! I though you had that thing secured!” He gave his ass a hard slap.

“Ah fuck, Iggy! I did! I had it on the tripod.”

“All of this equipment is utter garbage, you guys. We should’ve planned this venture better,” Nyx added without stopping his thrusts. “Fuck it, let’s just keep going. It looks like the camera is still pointing in this direction, at least.”

Ignis and Gladio sighed in unison. “What are you signing for, you’re the one who fucked this up!” Ignis exclaimed.

“What are you talking about? I had it on the tripod. It was connected properly. Fuck off already! It probably came loose from you slamming into me like a battering ram!”

“LAAANGUAAAGE!!!” Ignis yelled out, knowing he was losing the argument. “Okay, okay! You’re right, it probably did happen from us all fucking like horny little devil rabbits. I’m sorry. Let’s just continue on.” He gently rubbed the red hand mark that was now forming upon Gladio’s skin.

Gladio grunted but added no further remark. He looked over at the fallen camera. He noted that the lens now had a crack through the middle of it. He sighed internally and went back to stroking himself. A few moments later he reached over and grabbed it off of the floor and held it above his head, directing its gaze upon himself and his two lovers. It caught the image of Nyx just as he exploded into orgasm, his head arched back and face contorted with pleasure.

“Oh yeah! Talk about good timing!” Gladio exclaimed cheerfully.

Nyx was finishing up when he looked up and saw the camera. He let out a laugh as he pulled out of Ignis. “Did ya get a good angle there? Zoom in on my O face?”

“Betcha ass I did.” Gladio handed the camera to him and pointed to the tripod. Nyx obliged, reattaching and pointing it toward the two remaining men. He gave them a thumbs up when finished.

“Okay, Iggy, let’s do this.”

“I’m already there, dollface.” Ignis gave a few more thrusts and spilled his seed into Gladio’s ass, attempting to yodel as he did so. Gladio and Nyx couldn’t contain their laughter. Nyx briefly swung his face into the view of the camera lens and mouthed “what the fuck?”.

Ignis pulled out, a spent look upon his face. “Oo, damn.. you guys really know how to exhaust a man,” he said while fanning himself with his hand. “I may need to catch up on my beauty sleep, now that I’ve been imbibed with Nyx’s love potion.” He wiped himself off and turned over on the mattress to sleep. Soft snores were soon emanating from his still form.

“Geez, I guess he’s not kidding,” Nyx commented. “Hey, Gladio, need a hand with that? Or a tongue?”

“Aww yissss!” Gladio exclaimed as he turned around and presented himself to Nyx’s willing touch. Right as he was inching his way over on the mattress, the camera reached the end of its tape and stopped recording.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to @xylianna and @stopmopinstarthopin for their enabling powers. <3!


End file.
